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“Fair warning,” he had written to her, two summers back. “If you really want this to happen, I have been known to be clingy.” She stared at the letter quietly, lips pursed in slight disapproval. Then she sighed, closed the tab, and tried to do some actual work. The one she was being paid to do? Instead of unearthing old letters that probably hold no meaning anymore—except her.

Two summers have passed since then. She still doesn’t know what he meant. It had never happened; the clingy-ness he had warned her about, along with a number of things they said that they had both since forgotten. Echoes of it still linger in the recesses of her memory.
She could unearth them. Dig up the letters and reread them while her heart sank heavily in her chest. It was unfair of her to try to remember what he had forgotten. After all, she had forgotten too, hadn’t she?

Maybe he was just that good at holding it back. He was also pretty good at subconsciously making her feel left-out. It wasn’t on purpose—at least, she hoped it wasn’t.

Her pen slips from her cold, weak fingers and she mutters a curse as it drops to the floor with a loud clatter. Sorry, she mumbles to a nearby co-worker, who smiles reassuringly at her before going back to work. She should, too. She really should. Her boss passes by the cubicles and catches her eye. He smiles at her, that same reassuring smile her co-worker gave her, and she smiles nervously back, before turning immediately to look at her screen.

She no longer writes. She can no longer write. Not as well as she thought she could, anyway. The hollow space has taken the feeling from her fingers, and her brain has gone numb. Every word seemed like a desperate, panicked fumble. Every sentence sounded clumsy and distraught, the words didn’t seem to fit together anymore. Not as well as they did, anyway, when she wrote them, two summers ago.

He shouldn’t have warned her about his clingy-ness. She had expected it, and there was none.

Nothing but this hollow feeling and an echo of some of the happiest moments she had ever spent in front of the screen.


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Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Er. Let me get back to you on that one.


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Stagnant and Yet Not-So

Thu Sep 19, 2013, 10:10 AM
Profile | Gallery | Inbox

I doubt any of you care but I feel really bad that I haven't posted anything in quite a while. It's kind of frustrating on my end, too, though I only have my procrastination to blame. Blaming the fact that I don't have a tablet or a scanner can get old real quick, too--though that is not to say that it wouldn't be easier for me to submit art if I had aforementioned items. Bahaha.

Two books have preoccupied me lately, along with some real-life duties. Went to the medical center an hour away from home in order to have a pre-employment checkup last monday. Then had a drug test yesterday. I've been having quite a bit of an artblock, too, mainly because of stressing over the other pre-employment requirements. 

Another thing would be the newly made blogs. It was more or less done out on a whim but I'm kind of happy about them. I say 'them' because there are two on different sites. Kind of a hassle, one may think, but honestly speaking I'm okay with that. I can get kind of schizophrenic when it comes to designs and layouts and such so having two choices is always something I like. I can never choose properly sheesh.

No urls for the websites yet, mainly because there isn't much to begin with and I'm still fixing it up,ish. Haha.

I feel kind of lethargic. Maybe it's because it's 1AM here. OMG body clock, ARE YOU FINALLY GETTING FIXED? :omg:

Let's cross our fingers.


  • Mood: Frustrated
  • Listening to: The goddamned Electric Fan on Loudspeakers idek
  • Reading: This Journal
  • Watching: my enemies burn
  • Playing: WITH YOUR HEART
  • Eating: the flesh of my enemies
  • Drinking: the blood of my enemies

Journal History

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Add a Comment:
duesterheit Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2013
thanks for adding me (=
AW08 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Student Digital Artist
derpychan14 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Helloooo! :wave:
I saw you commenting on a few pages, haha. Then I was like, woah, this person, I keep on seeing them. So then I decided, what the hell, why don't I check your profile out >w<.

And holy fucking shit (sorry about the cussing LOL) your art is amazing! :iconclapplz:

Good work! :thumbsup:
phoeniqx Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ahaha omigosh sorry if I was everywhere all the time ahahaha ^^;

:blushes: oh, oh thanks very much for that gahh~ :happycry: I'm still fumbling around with digital art and stuff but, wahh thanks I'm glad you like them (even though most of them are very bad scans, photographs and messy lineart!) :giggle: :happycry:

Thanks for the llama, too! :hug:
derpychan14 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure!! :happybounce:
derpychan14 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(and btw your interests are really similar to mine xD)
Monchichi1 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
Thanks for the interest in my contest, hope you decide to enter :)
phoeniqx Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll definitely see what I can do! :) I'm actually planning on entering in your sister's contest too, if ever. :blushes:
Monchichi1 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
Great :) also i love your icon too cute :)
phoeniqx Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahaha swiped it off the internet thanks! Yours is pretty cute, too, blinking with shiny eyes and all~ :meow:
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